parenting

On two separate occasions today my heart broke for all the kids in China.

1) One of my favorite and best students, Xin Yu, always comes to school with her grandma or a-yi. Today we had a cooking event for the kids, and for the first time her dad came, too. Xin Yu, who normally neverrrr cries, although if she did it would be perfectly normal given that she's three years old, started crying a bit. Almost immediately her dad screamed across the room at her, and then for the next half hour tried to yell the tears out of her - and naturally, it didn't work, and furthermore, it made it worse. After yelling at her and just being plain mean, my boss and I went over to try and cheer her up (we are her teachers after all), and the dad snapped at us to go away because HE will handle it. At this point, the grandma had already left because she can't be around his behavior and turn her head away. The a-yi stayed, but only reluctantly. It was clear that they both hated the way he treats his daughter, but that they weren't allowed to stand up for her. The family is a dictatorship, and he is the dic...tator.

I thought it couldn't get any worse.

2) Then I was on the subway on my way to dinner. I was standing in hopes of a seat, preoccupying myself with watching a really weird mother-son interaction. They were clearly arguing, but also, I couldn't even tell if it was in fact the mom because she seemed to throw mini tantrums and have about as much love in her as a rock. Then, all of a sudden, she started attacking her son and hitting him! While all of the nearby Chinese people turned their heads and looked at the ground I pushed her off of him...and then pushed her one more time for good measure. It wasn't a pop on the leg or even a slap on the hand - it was severallll hits in the face, in a really caddy style like you would imagine a 15-year-old girl fighting. Finally I asked the Chinese people around me who spoke English and one guy told me what happened. The boy had called his mom a name, and granted, just as much as I could tell she was whacko before the fight, I could also tell he was bratty, but NEVER should you treat a child like this. In the midst of explaining the situation, the guy told me that "Yea, sometimes Chinese parents beat their children if they don't listen...but the children should respect their parent's beatings. ...Do they beat kids in your country?" Why NO, in fact, they don't. MAN.